The Return of the Crazy Demon

“No, of course not.”

“I’ve seen guys like you in Kangho. Especially in orthodox factions.”

Looks like Master Yukhap is angry.

“Is that so?”

“Died while fooling around believing in their faction. Having faith in their martial arts skills and died due to arrogance. Died from ignoring me due to my looks. The same goes for you. I guess you look down on me because I’m dragging the pests around.”

Master Yukhap smirks at me. The moment Master Yukhap lays his orders, the seven bugs will attack me no matter their livelihood.

On the other hand, I sit alone in the main hall and calmly wait for Master Yukhap to give his order.

Master Yukhap, who is staring at me for a while, tilts his head and says,

“……How unusual. You’re too young to be this calm.”

Il Chung says to Master Yukhap,

“Should we kill him, sir?”

“Wait it out.”

“Yes.”

“Look at his expression. He’s a weirdo.”

I wait without much response and tell Cha Sung-tae,

“Sung-tae, bring me some Dukuang liquor.”

“Right away, sir.”

When Cha Sung-tae walks in, puts the two Dukuang liquor on the table, and disappears, Master Yukhap asks,

“Is there poison this time?”

I pour a drink without answering.

I wanted to pour a glass of alcohol for the pests that had died in my hands, but I can’t since Master Yukhap is a skeptic.

After downing three glasses, I look at Master Yukhap’s ugly face.

It was the same in my previous life, but I now could read his emotions which were uglier than his own face.

Having an ugly face doesn’t mean you have a twisted mind.

But this guy has both.

Master Yukhap is such a vicious person that he later gained the fitting nickname of Ghost Demon (鬼魔). Perhaps that’s why he appears more hideous. Feeling the alcohol kick in, I say to Master Yukhap,

“Master Yukgap.”

“It’s Yukhap.”

“Now that I’m seeing you, you’re ugly.”

“…….”

“Your face is so ugly. In terms of visuals, you’re uglier than all the pests here. So, did you purposely pick ugly guys as your subordinates? Just so you ugly bastards can come in packs. No?”

Master Yukhap looks really angry.

“…….”

He is so angry that he can’t utter a single word to me even though he is slowly blinking his eyes.

On the other hand, the Gold Silver Seven Insects are standing by with their heads lowered. They must be aware that Master Yukhap hates people insulting his appearance the most.

Master Yukhap says with a smile,

“You’re a dead man.”

I laugh and reply,

“Why? Because I teased you for being ugly?”

“…Am I that ugly?”

I watch Master Yukhap with my chin propped.

“Let’s see. Let’s take a closer look. Look twice, look three times.”

“…….”

“You’re absolutely hideous. You’re ugly no matter how much I look at you, Master Yukgap.”

Perhaps because I was speaking too bluntly. Master Yukhap, who was about to lose his cool, suddenly puffs and laughs.

“How absurd.”

I laugh at Master Yukhap’s expression.

“It must be absurd. I’m taken aback, too. It’s rare to see a smiling man this ugly. How horrible.”

“Are you finished, Leader?”

I respond accordingly because I think Master Yukhap is about to lash out.

“No. I need to tell you this. I know why you’re ugly.”

Master Yukhap’s eyes widened.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Listen up, I don’t back out from fights. Even if one of us dies in a fight, I have to tell you this. Hear me out, I know exactly why you’re so ugly. I even have the solution. It won’t be too late to fight me after listening to the story.”

I say with a grim look on my face.

On the other hand, Master Yukhap is looking at me as if I were delirious with his ugly face.

I tremble my hands as if trying to calm a livid dog and say,

“Would you hear me out? You’ll regret it if you don’t. I don’t know many people.”

With ragged breaths, Master Yukhap stares at the insects including Il Chung. The bugs had their heads lowered as if they were people who were about to die.

“Tell me.”

“Yukgap… calm down and listen carefully.”

Suddenly, Master Yukhap shouts as he slams the table continuously.

“I said my name is Yukhap! Not Yukgap, it’s Yukhap. Yukhap! Yukhap! Yukhap! Yukhap! You prick! Is it that hard? I will tear you to pieces!”

Putting my hands down, I appease the former Ghost Demon.

“Okay, okay. I got it. Stop fussing and listen carefully. Master Yukhap, allow me to explain. Listen first and then get angry.”

“Tell me.”

Drinking the liquor, I ask the pests.

“Anyone want a drink? No? Good. I’ll have to drink it alone. Let me explain.”

I preach the Ugly Man Theory seriously.

“This is a pretty profound problem. The thing with men… there is the idea of ‘born’ handsome and ‘acquired’ handsome. Likewise, there is the idea of ‘born’ ugly and ‘acquired’ ugly. Born handsome is the attractive appearance you were given since birth. You understand up to here, don’t you?”

Master Yukhap stares at me.

“Go on.”

I point my finger at Master Yukhap.

“You are born ugly. It means you’ve been ugly since birth.”

Master Yukhap looks at me with his mouth half open.

“…….”

“But the problem is, you became an acquired ugly man. What could be the reason? I mean, even an ugly man can be acquired handsome. It’s my unwavering opinion. Especially, Kangho warriors like us. You just don’t know how.”

“What a load of rubbish.”

“What do you think that means? This means that a born handsome can become ugly. The key is the harmony of mind and expression.”

“You sound like a moron.”

I nod.

“It may sound like that if you don’t understand. When a guy laughs, the expression and mind should be in tune, just like inner and outer martial arts. You were thinking about hurting someone, but when your face smiles, your facial muscles tend to twist to the ugly side.”

“…….”

“I too have once had a murderous smile. But now I often laugh because I’m happy. Besides, you have an ugly face, but your heart and expression don’t align. You’re just making your ugly face worse. A man’s face usually changes every ten years. Even if you were born ugly, knowing this means your face changes just as Kangho warrior’s Qi changes. Is it difficult? Actually, it’s such a difficult and mysterious problem that it feels like I’m explaining martial arts.”

I look at Master Yukhap as I down a glass of liquor.

“Elaborate. Don’t tell me there’s more? If you can’t convince me, you’re dead today.”

“Well, save those stupid threats to your subordinates. Very well. That was a bad analogy. Let me explain. There was a man’s smile that I thought was really cool. Who could it be?”

“Who?”

“Is it Sword Demon?”

“You mean Sword Demon of the Demon Cult?”

I nod.

“This man has only ever laughed out loud in front of me once. The smile at the time was really worth seeing. Why is that? Because it was rare for a guy who never laughs. This man never easily laughs, but when he does, he laughs heartily. This gives you a rough idea of what kind of man he is, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose.”

“This is the first case. The second time is when Alliance Leader Im So-baek laughed. Oh, he also doesn’t laugh much like Sword Demon. If you put them together, I bet they would only talk expressionless for a hundred days. Leader Im also had a stern expression all the time, so it was really difficult to check his smile. But he certainly knows how to laugh. It’s a smile that creeps out after confirming the safety of his men and ending the operation safely.”

“So, what about it?”

I glare at Master Yukhap.

“Even a man who only laughs once a year is nice to see. No matter how ugly you are by nature, you can become a nurtured handsome man. Even more so since Kangho warriors can utilize their Qi and aura. The smiles of Alliance Leader and Sword Demon, who escaped the Demon Cult, are rare. It’s because they don’t really have much to laugh about. That’s how hard it is to make them laugh sincerely. On the other hand…”

I point my finger at the pests.

“Look at these pests giggling all the time since arriving. None of these guys laughed for a moment because something was funny. No one laughed because life is enjoyable and fun. Is the fake laughter that you made while shoving stale-tasting food into your throat, worrying if it was poisonous, sincere? It’s all fake, survival, moronic smiles because they’re scared. That’s why their faces are messed up.”

I explain from the beginning.

“This is what happens when the mind and the smile don’t match. These forced smiling pests will get uglier and eventually turn into monsters in ten years. I told you, didn’t I? A man’s appearance changes every ten years. It is the same as your inner Qi levels. Your natural face is no big deal to Kangho warriors. Will you slowly grow stronger and become a handsome man? Or will you live ugly day by day and become an ugly man? That’s the secret to appearances.”

I explained it so seriously that I had to wipe sweat off my forehead. As I drink Dukuang liquor, I say,

“Now you know why you’re ugly? Master Yukgap.”

Master Yukhap glances at me calmly.

“Leader, let me ask you one thing.”

“Yes, go ahead.”

“I introduced myself as Master Yukhap, but why do you always call me Master Yukgap?”

I shake my head and answer in a grave tone.

“That’s me.”

“What does that mean?”

I grinned as the corners of my mouth curled. It was very fun to tease the former Ghost Demon.

“It’s up to me. Whether you’re Yukhap or Yukgap, the fact that you’re ugly doesn’t change, so don’t be so petty. Why does it matter if it is Yukhap or Yukgap? Your face and mind are ugly anyway. How… Do you understand me? I wonder if you feel like living again after receiving tips and information on how to become a handsome man. Wow, I can’t believe I’m giving you this information without charging a fee. Will there ever be another swordsman like me?”

While Master Yukhap takes a deep breath, I continue.

“No matter how ugly you are, a man who smiles sincerely is beautiful. A smile like that cannot be hidden by ugliness. No matter if you don’t die today or tomorrow, remember. We can all be handsome men.”

My lecture, which started with the Ugly Men Theory, ended with the Handsome Theory. I felt a prick because it felt like I’d swindled them.

“…….”

I ask Master Yukhap reluctantly.

“So? Are you going to fight me? You’re going to end your life today? That’s too bad.”

I call my men before Master Yukhap could respond.

“Sung-tae, Chief So, and Master Hoyeon. Officials.”

The waiting men walk out to the main hall and say,

“Yes, Leader.”

“Did you call for us?”

I stare at Master Yukhap and order my men.

“If I get beaten by one of these guys.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Please ask my acquaintances in Kangho to avenge me.”

Cha Sung-tae nods and replies.

“Please lay your order.”

“Contact Alliance Leader Im So-baek, Sword Demon Sunbae who managed to escape Demon Cult, the Cult Leader’s Sister Blood night Palace Leader, and the Wind Cloud Mong Clan’s second son shithead to seek my revenge.”

“Yes.”

“Also, you shouldn’t leave out Nanming Society, South Horizon Sect, and Black Hurricane Castle.”

“Of course.”

“Come to think of it, my acquaintances are situated throughout orthodox, unorthodox, and demon factions. Guess I didn’t live life in vain.”

“That’s right.”

“Please let my hometown friends in Ilyang know. Sung-tae, you should take revenge in about 10 years. You still suck.”

“All right.”

I speak in a solemn tone.

“Let them know the Low-Down Sect Leader was falsely murdered. Say Master Yukhap is Master Yukgap, tell them I was attacked because I was just merely stating facts, that he was ugly. There’s no wrongful story like mine. Alliance Leader will feel especially very sorry for me. We had shared a deep comradeship as we exterminated Namak Sect together, so make sure to put Master Yukhap and his men on the Most Wanted List. Not Yukgap, it’s Yukhap. Don’t forget.”

Cha Sung-tae nods.

“I will definitely deliver the message. Is it Yukgap?”

“It’s Yukhap.”

“Yes, I understand.”

I grab Moonlight Dagger stuck on the table and stare at Master Yukhap.

“Good. I’m relieved. Now let’s fight…”

“…….”

“Mas.Ter⸱Yuk⸱Gap.”

I smile broadly after calling out to the former Ghost Demon. In this case, it was a very appropriate expression since it was fun to tease him.

Ah, it’d be too troubling if I become too handsome at this rate…

.

.

I did some self-reflection.