Life, Once Again!

Gaeul could feel this as soon as she arrived on set. The people gathered here did so solely to create the ‘best film ever.’ Their belief in the centerpiece, director Park, must have played a role in that, but their desire to put a stroke in the history of the South Korean film industry must have also driven them to gather as well. The attitude that would be taken as a joke if this was a college film production club seemed like a certainty in this place.

In the center of it all was Maru.

Gaeul crossed her arms and looked at Maru. It had been 30 minutes since he started talking to director Park. Whether they were in a disagreement, or were talking in-depth and couldn’t arrive at a conclusion quickly, the two showed no signs of finishing their conversation. What was interesting was the attitude of the other staff. They were all finding other things to do as though the long conversations were normal, such as reading books or looking at their phones. Some of them were working, but they were the minority. The directors and leaders of each part seemed to not care about director Park not managing the scene.

They looked like puppies gathered in the middle of a vast plain without any fences, ignoring whatever the trainer said and digging into the ground, biting some toys, or going off to find food. They seemed impossible to control

“Shall we start now?”

That single line changed the entire atmosphere at the scene. Everyone, who looked like they had scattered without a sense of purpose, surprisingly quickly returned to their positions. Though, they still had the puppy-like feeling.

The assistant director gave out instructions. The background actors, who were getting ready, entered the last rehearsal. Gaeul looked at the liberal-looking staff and the mechanical-looking background actors and sensed a big disparity. Director Park bestowed liberty purely based on credit. He asked for opinions from the main actors or the staff. He respected their decisions and let them act based on them. It was different for the background actors. He did not allow them to flick a finger, so to speak. They were switched out the moment they couldn’t carry out their instructions. Two young men, who looked like they were friends and had come to make some quick cash, had left quite early on. Nobody held them back from leaving. The assistant director just looked for new background actors. They seemed to have contacted a lot of people beforehand, as new people were quickly brought in.

The shoot began. Gaeul stood behind director Park. Maru fell on his butt on a mountainous path that was damp from melted snow. This morning, she saw the news saying that the temperature was -7 degrees celsius. His pale face was probably not just from the makeup. She watched in worry for his health.

Maru hugged a can with shivering hands. Even his lips were trembling, making the onlooker feel chilly. This was the tenth take. He was rolling on cold ground before he had enough time to warm up, so he had to be spending a lot of stamina. She wondered how many times more he had to do this for him to be satisfied. Unless director Park found it satisfactory, Maru repeated the same cut multiple times. In fact, even if director Park liked it, he would repeat the shoot again, saying that he himself didn’t accept it yet. It felt like the shoot was going to prolong indefinitely. This was very different from the shoots for other films.

Maru hugged the can while laying down, fiercely glaring at the camera, before standing up while staggering. The way he dragged his stabbed legs down the mountain path with the money-filled can in his arms was something that made Gaeul gnash her teeth no matter how many times she saw it.

Twisted obsession, unvented lunacy, awkward love — Gaeul had seen the script for the first time at the shoot. The story of the movie was depressing from start to end. The protagonist, who had experienced murdering someone, kept bringing himself to his own destruction amidst his insensitivity and led those around him to a bad ending as well. Absolutely no one was able to escape that terrifying gravitation. Having suppressed his emotions forcefully all the time, the protagonist eventually ends up unable to feel anything, and the woman who pitied him died in vain with the false dream that she could change him. Meanwhile, the man who held him in contempt and tried to kill him was done in by his own extreme plan and became a half-cripple.

Maru, who came down the mountain path, collapsed and fell forward. Gaeul covered her mouth and kept watching. It was acting, yet not acting. In the break just a moment ago, Gaeul had seen clearly that his body had been scratched and bruised everywhere. Even though this was a scene that should use a replacement, Maru was stubborn until the end, saying that he had to be the one to do it.

Having fallen over, Maru raised his head. The crumpled bills inside the can scattered on the floor. Maru stood up and picked up just one ten thousand-won bill before walking again. The camera kept following Maru’s back as he walked down the mountain path. Maru endlessly walked towards the place with fewer trees and where he could see the faint light of the city.

“Cut.”

Director Park took off his headset and stood up. From the seventh take onwards, he had always been smiling. He had been satisfied for a long time. The only thing left was Maru’s own decision. Maru approached the monitor. He was pressing his left thigh with his finger. Was he hurt? She wanted to ask but now was not the time. This was an important moment for the director and the actor.

“We’re done. Let’s move on,” said the director.

It seemed that Maru had finally gotten a good picture this time. Gaeul rushed over to him in an instant. They had told the others that they had been close since young, so there was no need to hold back. Looking at him from up close, Maru wasn’t in a state where she could just laugh it off. The way he fell over in the last take seemed a little overboard, and indeed, he was bleeding from his knees.

“You should’ve held back.”

She felt worried. Maru just washed it with some water, saying that it was nothing much. Although acting without holding back was good, not getting hurt was more important.

“Let me see. Are you really okay?”

“It’s not the first or second time I’m falling over. It’ll heal if I spit on it.”

“Don’t put spit on it. Apply ointment properly. It might leave a scar.”

Just as Maru said, it didn’t seem like this happened just once or twice, as a staff member came over and handed him some ointment and an adhesive band.

“How was it?”

“How was what?”

“What else? My acting.”

“I would’ve been much more at ease if I didn’t see it. My heart jumped whenever I saw you fall. It’s a steep place, and you just had to fall forward. Did you think I would not be worried? If it was any other place, they would’ve placed mattresses and split the cuts even further. You are one thing, but the director’s quite amazing for letting you do what you did.”

Maru smiled without a word. Gaeul found his worry-free smile quite spiteful. She had been watching in nervousness, but the person in question was just chuckling. She touched his injured knee. Maru frowned in pain. She could clearly see that he was faking it.

“I thought it didn’t hurt?”

“If you press it hard like that, then of course it hurts.”

“I’ve known this since back when you shot New Semester, but aren’t you getting into too many situations where you fall over and get hurt?”

“I think that’s because my appearance isn’t exactly suited to wearing fancy clothes and chopping steak in a high-class restaurant. Rather than that, aren’t you cold? Today’s pretty chilly.”

“You think I’m cold when there’s someone rolling on the cold ground right in front of me? You should warm up. You might really get a cold.”

After putting a thick blanket around Maru’s shoulders, she brought him to the heater. She grabbed his wrist for a moment, and it was cold like she was grabbing an iron bar that had been freezing under the snow. She sighed in bitterness. She wished he could look after his body a little more.

“Miss Gaeul,” the director called.

Gaeul took off her coat and responded to him.

“The ground was frozen. Watch out not to fall over,” Maru said.

Gaeul nodded.

* * *

“Cut! Cut! Miss Gaeul, you okay?” the director shouted.

Maru barely held himself back from rushing over. Gaeul fell over while running, and she got on her feet immediately before apologizing to everyone gathered around her. As this was a scene where she was frightened after seeing a corpse and running away, her sense of urgency had to be revealed, but she should still be careful since it was a mountain. Maru put his hands in front of his lips as though praying.

“Who’s telling who to hold back….”

She ran like she was about to fall over with all her might, just for a single scene where her line entirely consisted of a single scream. She did fall over too. The girl who nagged him to be careful was running around dangerously, so it agonized Maru. Even the almighty director Park told her to be careful.

“That friend of yours is really no joke,” Yoojung said, approaching him from behind and giving him a cup of coffee.

“She’s quite bold. That’s why those around her worry about her. She’s gonna get injured at that rate.”

As soon as he said those words, Yoojung chuckled.

“Looks like you two are close alright. Miss Gaeul said the same thing about you, just with an even graver expression than you.”

“Did she?”

“I guarantee. She might have gone to the director if you fell over a few times more. But er….”

Yoojung shook her head and stopped speaking.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“You know that your face says it’s not nothing, right?”

“I’ll ask just in case, but you two aren’t in a so-and-so relationship, right? That’s what my intuition is telling me.”

Yoojung glanced at Gaeul in the distance. She then waved her hand in the air in denial.

“Looks like I spoke for nothing. Maybe it’s about time I have to start dating. Every man and woman I see that have a good relationship looks like a couple to me.”

“How about Gyungjin-hyung? He also says that he feels lonely when we drink at night.”

“I’d rather live as a single for the rest of my life than date that guy. Hey, they’re getting ready again. I hope she doesn’t injure her throat while trying to scream.”

The director’s cue sign then fell.